having a huge stress now. sigh. no one to voice out my vex.

and now already lost the most important person in my life..

what next.. ?




maybe its time to go temple to huan yuan..

" i like myself, i love myself, something wonderful going to happen to me today !! "

divertion.

no mood to work, i noe its damn unprofessional at this pt to take a break.

but i think i need to sort out everything,
and i need to redirection my planning and setting.
i will b harsh on my presistence on certain expectations.
and narrowed focus on the outputs.

yes. i neeed to do that. important.

bad women , good women is no more impt. i dunwan care so much. becos of a women im no more like myself. time to really move on. be it fate or wat in the future so let it be. i have no power nor strength to do anything abt it.

i can only say, im tired. really tire..

a wash from yesterday nite, make me feel that.. " why im here breakdown ? "

WHY?

i should have woke up, thanks for slapping me in my dreamland.

wonderful "attempting" and "perfect" timing for that.

marco share wit me something, what he is now, is becos of women. what make him like that and disappointed wit women, is bcos of women. i dun understand what is the meaning inside initially, but now i do, yes.

坏人和好人, 只是一线之差。

okie.

just lost mj, my mood is danm fucking bad. shouldnt have read those things and kpo go see thing. knn. make my mood fucking swing. everyone playing mj is damn scare of me, scare i shout at them which i seldom does, but i did juz now.

really lo. cb, damn sianz, i think is really time to move on, ppl there enjoying their singlehood and i fucking like a loser here kpkb. thinking of the past, and knn still pin of hope of something, cb im damn stupid, yes STUPID. who are u, u are fucking not handsome and always have problems !! who will like someone like me ? fucking wake up my mind la, cb. dunno why im thinking all those thing, really damn pissed off, OF ME.

OEI CB WAKE UP LA TEO WEILUN. KNN.

是说我吗?

不要想太多.. 想多错多, 但好奇心在作怪。

just a short updates.

how day? pretty good, was busy in my careeer, i could say its really different when someone is attached or not. two sided ba, haha. maybe when a person is single, the focus are narrowed, and impacts will be greater than before. and i made different in myside, so surprised. i even allow my hair to be shorter just during my army time, haha, even my hairstylish asked am i being call back by army. pls!! ha. but i think now i can accept more advise and just do it. hur. chiteng said i changed, mayb i did, but i have not done my very best.

packing up wit activities of my work, i have really not time for any new person to enter to my life. i thanks that someone for ask me out, i feel bad when i reject their invite for meal, but i really not ready for anyone. somemore we are already friend. ha, so ya we are friend. =) being in r/s really tired, scare, time-consuming, and energy constrict. my friend say im danm negative, maybe down the road there is better.. i dun denied that mayb there is, but question is.. am i ready ? no more tire, no more scare, have penty of time, and energtic.. haha.. im old already la by tt time, pls.

and dunno what happen.. this yr quite a number of my friends return to singlehood.. hur.. but they behaved different compare to yrs ago.. mayb they are more matured ba.. they already know that, they have tried their best.. so the outcome still separate, maybe is better for both parties.. sigh..

jiayou ba weilun, maybe just for her..

great, at least i know where im positioning now.

:)

after seeing ur reply, i dun think the chances are high, ya maybe im assuming.. but if onli im the one wanted to recover our r/s i dun see it will go to anywhere..

ai mai ai mai reactions still tangling ard. ya i assume again, but so far tt how i feel.. unless i see any different from you ba.

been working hard for my career, and i see changes in myself and things are getting better as well. ya, maybe im just born to be a loner.. ha.

known that u will be busy for entire week, take care ba. thats all i can say for now..

vision of images seems to be blur-er now.. bye bye..

after all this days, alot of images of you appears.. i have to admit that the images are more than before parted.. if this is what chinese always say, 失去了,才会珍惜.. i think it will be that.. I feel paraniod when you told me of your decision that day, and what i can say is, okie.. but your reaction seems like expects another answer. you even question me of why i always so like that.. 顺着她, my ans was cos I Love you.. but i din say out.. but truth enough is.. i most of the time give in to your requests/wants.. cos i respect u.. and i find the opinions u gave are acceptable.. no harm giving a try, if turn out bad than work out another way right.. afterall its not those matter to life of death that are danger decision wat.. i din noe that is a prob for u oso.. until tt day i realise..

when that day u told me im e person that u dun wish to lose.. i wanted to tell u, you also.. but.. my emotions are taking over me tt time.. and i hardly able to speak clearly.. and u seems like saying that in future we might able to get back or watever.. franky speaking.. i do hope this would happen.. but i dunno how .. i really dunno.. i was thinking that i mayb i would be a normal frenz of urs, just chit chat, go out , not like couples just frenz.. and if ppl woo u.. i will give support , and anayist for u.. i could think it this way.. but if future really have this scenario.. could i react this way !? i dunno.. i dunno my mind could be overcome my actions not.. to be generous to let go my loves one..

many ppl asking me wat e problem.. some say third party, some say my job, some say others.. franky speaking.. i dunno..

we met up yesterday, have a meal together, i dun dare to look straight to your eyes.. somehow rather i really afraid.. to lose you. bidding goodbye to you at mrt, had nv been so pain like yesterday..

i miss the routine time check, on morning, on your lunch, and the evening time when u left ur work..
i miss the msg when u asked me wat should u eat for dinner.. altot u most of the time wun follow..
i miss the time when u fall aslep beside me when on d way home by bus..
i miss the moments when we fighting for place to sleep wit yuki
i miss your voice
i miss the time u complaint to me abt mr bean
i miss the time when u always put food into my mouth despite im full, cos u noe i will always open my mouth for u..
i miss the time when u bite me, always same spot.
i miss the time when u "snatch" away mine 25yrs chou chou pillow during the nite time
i miss the time when we bring yuki for scroll
i miss the heavy breakfast with you..
.....................
....................
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你会回来我的身边吗?

星期天， 雨天

昨天去了sandy婚礼，一个人，真的不好受。看着他们幸福的笑容，心里怪怪的。不巧是我被安排的桌上没有一个我认识的，哈哈!! 还好一些朋友看到我"寂寞"，跑过来叙旧一下

没planning的就去dbl O，有mel,irene,zhentong,shunkai,kuek。很久没去clubbing了，真的好不习惯，irene的好朋友带我进去，真的感激她。玩了游戏，输的就要喝!! 真的没有运气，连连输了好几盘!! 哈哈, 还蛮high的，过后我就想安静一个人，不见了一下下。melvin找到我，真厉害。

讲真的没有人相信我说的话，我真的single了，哈哈。每个人都问我发生了什么事，我都不知道这么解释，我只好自述一切是，平静的分手，就那么的平凡。但过后还有人叫我不要开玩笑了。哈哈!!

去了一间jap resturant "En"，以前打工的地方。Melvin陪我去吃东西，可能喝太多了，叫了食物可是吃不下了。还好有60%的discount。

凌晨四点到家。睡不着。

星期五，11.00hrs.

起来的时候，眼睛好痛，酸酸的。好像少了什么的。出门去见prospect, 在tampines 那里，有一股冲动想去IKEA走走，可是不知道一种无形的力量，我手伸出，叫了巴士。。 回家。

我想我是怕了吧。。 看来我这几个礼拜应该不会经过一些地方吧。。

嗨~

希望你能好好照顾自己。。