Hello.

Hi,

Its been a long time I touch this space of mine, used to updates every few stages of mine, but due to a incident, I chosen to stopped it. Today, I happen to be reading the last few posts from my ex-gf, I realized that she mentioned if the love was that deep, why I still choose to leave.. thinking back, I never wants to leave once, but I agreed that I did not make it clear, and the ending was sucks, ultimately disappointed with myself. After me, she been to 1 r/s, and I think brokeup and now attached another colleague who I met before during lunch. Hope this she will bloom well with this new r/s =), my sincerely blessing for her

Okie, I din really wana blog about my ex, just happen I set blogger follow her blog, she updates is in my main.

Well, my life now, my current job seems to be more stable than before, although its really busy and frustated but its takeup most of my time and I really planning to further study on next year which I have always wanted to, but somehow rather, dropping the idea. Steve jobs mentioned that, the reason why he work so hard, cos he always reminds himself, his time is short, anytime he will be gone, so he have to run with time before his life is taken.

Im still single from my last r/s been 3yrs, and she had already changed 2 bf. haha.. poorthing me, so I should be the one worrying for, zzz. actually I feel that women love successful, hardworking, devotion for work mens.. i think they find them attractive, my views, totally agree with the statement.

actually i dunno why im updating this corner of mine, haha, sometime i will read my posts. just amazing..

you ?

i know i have "closed" this blog in a unofficial way but im in a path tt are so unsure..

i have no way to express.. in the past weeks i can onli use alchol to ease myself.. which i always think tt is the stupidest way.. i din expect i fall on to the same trap..

i fall on a ger, who my good friend is interested on..

its all happen when i intro them for mj session.. and a few mj sessions going on.. i realised that this friend of mine seems to be contacting her undertable.. okie, first by fb, than msn, and than hp.. than i realised when he sms her, if im ard, he will be careful without letting me noe.. but he dunno, i see that everything.. im thinking okie la friend nia, why cannot sms rite ! everyone have the rights to make friend, more or less im the one who intro each other.. but one day..

on a event of bd session, i attended with this good friend, A and some other friends to a ktv, i realised that he had been msging her when i used his hp to play game.. immed, i put down the phone and i drag myself to drink.. i drink alot.. to the limit.. and at one pt.. he msg her beside me.. omg, i cant stand that kind of environment.. i have to leave.. so i left the room.. and sit along the spore river.. looking on the river.. and realised tt i do mind.. i think i have fall on her, despite noe her since secondary..

eventually i told myself.. i backoff.. and let him woo her.. so i told A i have never love her before, i treat her as xiao mei mei.. courage him to go for her.. but it really discomfort when we go out in a grp.. i have to act heck care.. and always ask A to send her home.. or told A , where is she, ask him to pick up her.. even im at nearby her area.. sometime i use my tiredness to hide..

but what happened yest.. make me think another way.. i was suppose to pick her up after her drinking session.. waited for her 2hrs.. call her no reply, msg no respond.. and when reply.. she say she on the way home.. A picked her up.. she did told me tt A is at nearby.. and i told her tt since he at nearby, than u sit his car home.. i will be more happy tt is A send her home than any of her colleague.. but than.. when i called her.. her tone seems angry.. and we ended call pretty fast on the nite.. i thnk she is angry.. so i msg her told her tt could we tok on phone, and we did.. i explained to her that doesnt matter who send her back, as long she is safe can le.. but i think she angry cos i push her away when she told me A is ard nearby.. i ask her today morning when we go for lunch.. she diverted the question and avoiding.. so i explained.. and say sorry.. and i think she realised tt i waited her for 2hrs, i suppose to be the one angry, yet she flamed on me just becos i push her away.. i think she mind.. like wat i do.. tt why we will explain to each other..

see now the whole picture seems changed.. now its like.. there might be something growing.. but seems like im the one keep denied and pushing her away.. my friend told me im stupid, and dumb, they say sooner or later.. she will get sick of pushing away by me and just heck care.. sigh..

i actually intened to tell her everything tonite.. but she duwan me to pick her up.. now she having supper.. sigh.. i think abit fan la.. keep asking wana send her home anot.. fucking idiot rite.

next time i starts my new work.. i hope, tt i could buried myself in it.. at least for the time being..

i will be closing this blog.












too much memories.. esp what happened last few months.. i feel that i can no more hold this blog, to the extend of i cant express truthfully what i wana say/feel at that exact moments.. i feel that the blog have tied me up. i really hate to have this decision but it is diffinitely not a harsh decision.. looking at all my entries.. looking back... i feel that i cant get out.. i still looking back.. yes i still read abt wat happen in the past.. everythings that have happened.. laughter, cried, emo, celebration, my working, my ns period.. and the lost of the one, that i loved most, i was quite sure of tt..

bye..

this long weekend.. is really a supber long weekend for me.. time seems to be flying soo slow.. when im @ home.. online.. too stressed up.. really.. 好辛苦.. i din expect im such a cowards.. i used to always say, do first and think next.. now.. i cant do that at all.. i fear of everything.. i fear of e results.. i fear of e outcome.. why..?

i really disappointed in myself.. very..

hid away.

at thurday, while watching fann wong and chris channel 8 show of their preparation.. my mum was in my room watching, suddenly she pop out,

mum: b, u and ah ger no more le ah ? cannot xian her back meh ?
me: ...
me: kpo la.. watch tv can anot.
mum: see u and her quite suit ma.. u nv try ah to xian her back meh ?
me: ...





不是不想, 是不敢..

firstly, bon voyage to my dad. He flew off this morning.. hope he will enjoy his overseas trip to china, to visit our family old town. old ppl always say they must travel there at least once back to "home", and this time rd, he would be travelling wit my uncles and gugu they all.. haha, can oso bonding together after so long when each of everyone are tied up by their whole family most of e time. :) treasure e time with you loves one, never regret and take for granted.

well, work are still busy as usual, i have been latetly commited to a project and i have to reach office everyday to do calling, and i have to thanks CT for training me in e past, when im doing my calls, some of my colleague are pretty impressed in my scripts and asked me for some points to take note, and another manager patted on my shoulder said," you can go do ur own thing already, dun need do calling le" haha, but i still will do calling la.. and when u do calling, more appt will be booked. therefore will be moer busier, sometime im back home @ 1am. and very next day 530am have to wake up for morning jogging. gosh,

been pretty packed with frenz despite my heavy schedule, meeting them for movie, dinner, even playing lan game L4D !! haha.. i started playing this game, "influenced" by melvin they all. LOL~ okie la, the game was really quite fun. haha!!

so far i have met all my different grp of frenz every week, for mj session, movie, dinner, shopping (i din shop la, i acc them), playing lan game, billard, supper despite my working schedule, =p pretty good huh ?

after all, and all, and all..

i hope everything are still fine are your side.

im hungry now, at this hr !!

argh.